My aunt died from AIDS She was sweet, she was strong, she knew what happened to her. She was a victim. She chose not to be. She reminded me not to trust. She taught me not to be a fool. She trusted me with the wisdom that not everyone wants the best for you. She entrusted me with the wisdom of life. Do not be afraid of the facts.

It's been awhile...

Some time has passed since my last post...almost 4 years actually. So many things have happened over the past few years. I'm excited to share stories and experiences again. I haven't written anything lately and I forgot how therapeutic it is for me. Now I just have to figure out which story to share first...

The necessities of life...

Water, food, shelter.....love? Is love a necessity of life? Could a person survive without giving or receiving love?

It's quite possible. Your body may be able to physically survive but your mentally I believe we all NEED to be loved or to give love.

Am I in love with zombies?

For the life of me, I cannot  understand why I am having dreams about zombies! Over the past year I've been having zombie dreams on and off. I've looked online seeking some magical answer that would make me clearly understand. At first, I thought it was because I was watching The Walking Dead. Now, I think the show helped my subconscious by giving what I was feeling a face, a symbol.

What does it mean to be a zombie?
It means to be devoid of life, of the light that resides in each of us. To be empty and dead inside and desperately trying to consume life to replace what you have lost.

Is my subconscious telling me that I feel dead inside? The first zombie dream I had was what seemed like the classic zombie story. Girl alone running away from zombies. Girl runs into house and traps herself. Zombies enter house slowly and close in on girl. Girl panics and continues her way upstairs. Finally zombies reach her. And then I woke up. I woke up scared and breathing heavily.

Since then, I've had about 4 more. At this point I'm not afraid when I wake. It's the one I had last night that scared me in a different way. I was being chased by zombies, like I always am in my dreams, but this time I had a savior. The thing is, is that my hero in this dream could never and would never be my hero in real life.

With that said, it seems to me that my subconscious is telling me that I will never be rescued, by myself or another, from this dead feeling I never knew I had.

Or maybe I shouldn't have sweets right before bed. Haha.

Writing a book is...

...not as easy as I thought. As a full-time single mother and a part-time secretary for a florist, I have no quality time to write my stories. My free time is composed of showering and sleeping with occasional five minutes to smoke outside. Is there a magic formula to get these things accomplished in a decent amount of time?

Risky Business

I like to believe that I am an adventurous woman. With that being said, I'm contemplating entering a friends with benefits arrangement. I know many of you all have done the same before and I know I'll hear the warnings. "Don't do it!""Think about it, you might lose the friendship." "Someone's feelings are going to get hurt." My understanding is that if you decide to pursue that type of arrangement with your friend, then the reality is that your eyes were wide open. Things won't change because you had some false hope that it would turn into more. It is, what you agree on. I completely believe that with the correct state of mind two friends can have the type of relationship that satifies certain physical and emotional needs without one thinking it will become something more serious. The key is to not expect from your friend what you would expect from a boyfriend or girlfriend. Or do I sound delusional? ")

Children's Benadryl

Last night, I was up until about 2am coughing and clearing my throat. I mean it was just ahem, take a breath, ahem, take a breath, AHEM! take a breath and then I would ball up my fists and yell through my clenched teeth ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! So finally I realized that I was just going to have to break night watching Game of Thrones and clearing my throat, hoping I wouldn't be waking anyone up with my annoying sound effects. I KNEW I wouldn't be able to function properly on Monday without any sleep, so I began a desperate search for meds. I came across Children's Benadryl...yes it was for my children, but I needed it NOW...I took a teaspoon more than the recommended dose and Mr. Sandman came and paid me a visit. I had a weird dream that I was riding a donkey through a desert (Maybe I dreamt I was a ranchero in Mexico). And sure enough I woke up at 8:14am, six minutes before my children were due in school!! I slept right through my alarm clock because of CHILDREN'S BENADRYL!!!! That's some potent s***!